Ya'll this is HAPPENING!
Through this process, we have been blessed with your support, prayers, and encouragement, and we know you are almost as excited as we are for this homecoming! Thank you for all you’ve done to make this dream come true for us, but our journey is just beginning! We have been reading and talking with our adoption caseworker about how to help ease our daughter's transition, and we’d like to share with you some insights we’ve learned. We pray you take a few minutes to read this, ask us questions beforehand and know a little more about what the next step of our journey will be like.
We have come to understand that for us, this is a joyous forming of a family, but for her, this change can be a significant trauma. She is about to be taken from the only home and “family” she has ever known and put into the arms of people who are strangers to her. We understand that we will have to parent her differently, so she will bond with us and learn to trust us. We are asking for your help as we adjust to our “new normal,” and here are some suggestions for you to help us:
- We would love for you to meet us at the airport, but please keep in mind that we will have just been through a very long week and put her in a really loud machine that flies (likely to be a little odd) that likely has been stressful for all of us. I can imagine we will not be at our best- ha! So we welcome your grace, hugs for us and our other kiddos and forgive us if we are cranky :).
- We expect to try and “cocoon” for several days or even several weeks (or change our mind on how long). We know we need time to settle into our routine and to get to know one another. She has to realize that WE are her new normal and the people that will meet her needs, not all the people coming in and out who may or may not come back (like currently happens at her orphanage). Please let us know if you want to come visit and please don’t be insulted if we decline a visit or ask you to leave after a short stay. It's not personal, it's just sometimes needed! It may also be fine and welcome (again grace needed here).
- We know you want to love on our new daughter, but please help us establish our family as the ones who will meet her needs. No hugs and kisses from you (until we green light it) – hugs and kisses are reserved for mommy and daddy only! You can absolutely offer a fist bump, a high five, or a sweet wave. We want her to develop healthy relationships and boundaries with all of our friends and family!
- Please feel free to offer help. Text us and ask what we need from the grocery store; bring us a hot meal (I know a meal train is being set up so we can connect you there). We know we need to accept help; anything we let you do for us will leave us more time and energy to devote to our new family of 5.
- Don’t forget our other girls. They are likely to feel like they are missing out on the attention they used to get and would welcome the chance to go out for ice cream/cake pops/play date with you. Offer to take our girls to church or to their sports’ practice. We want to keep their lives as normal as possible, but we may have our hands full with our new little one, so any help you can offer is appreciated.
- We will likely need empathy and a listening ear, without judgment or just a break for one of us to get away! There are times we may need to talk, vent, question or cry. Just keep being the awesome support system you are!
Thank you for all you have done for us as we Journey on to officially become the Fisher Five!
